Death, taxes and uncertainty

Photo courtesy of Mark Higgins and Shutterstock
Photo courtesy of Mark Higgins and Shutterstock

Brené Brown’s seminal work Daring Greatly starts with a recap on her own opening lines to a newly appointed therapist. Dr Brown was at the time doing a PhD in shame and vulnerability, and she started her first session by saying, “I hate uncertainty. I hate not knowing.”

As I listened to the Daring Greatly audiobook these words became imbued with a strange, India rubber ball quality, causing them to bounce about in my stomach for a bit. As regular dear readers already know, I don’t believe in coincidences. Which is why I’m not at all surprised by the sudden appearance-in-my-path of Dr Brown’s reference to uncertainty (and her well-documented aversion to it) when, once again, I find myself straddling the known and the unknown on this continuing Big Breast Adventure.

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The new normal

Jacaranda time in Sydney. What's not to like?
Jacaranda time in Sydney. What’s not to like?

Happy anniversary to me!  I’ve just celebrated one year of taking a daily dose of tamoxifen and I can attest (smiling through gritted teeth) that the side effects are well set in and do not appear to be going anywhere any time soon.  Yeah, yeah – I know this drug is protecting me from a relapse in my cancer but as I found with chemo, the side effects of tamoxifen seem to work counter to the whole process of getting well – in psychological terms for me at least.

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